“A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy”

Thursday, April 1

Fools' Gold

First, let me begin by saying Happy April Fools day.

I won't be playing any jokes on anyone today. The folks at .gov tend to take a dim view of such happenings, and I actually like my job, thank you very much. Also, due to some Federal regulations it seems I've been ignoring, I also need to do some full disclosure.
  • I'm not actually a person.  I'm a big-foot (sasquatch for the more politically correct term).  My wife caught me in the woods years ago, shaved me (some) and taught me to hold my pinky finger out when drinking tea.
  • My blog is completely written by a bot.  I actually have very little to do with the day-to-day operations.  I check in about once a month to see what it says.  Most of the time, I am as surprised as anyone.  See the bot is actually a TRS 80 hooked up to one of those old, red LED hand-held football games. 
  • I own Linux.  No, really.  I know, you thought it was "free".  My lawyers thought that was a great marketing tool and would look good on taxes.  I let people think it's all open source because it makes them feel good.  In reality, whenever someone says "linux", I get a nickel. 
  • My kids and I are in reality the top 3 guilds in World of Warcraft.  Yes, you read correctly.  We're really all three guilds.  We multibox and are just that talented.  And we speak French.
  • Did you know that Kodak invented color?  Seriously, the world was black and white before Kodak.  Don't believe me?  Just look at the pictures.
  • My great-grandfather was Sherlock Holmes.  Apparently I'm also related to Watson somehow.  We don't ask too many questions about that, though.
  • April 1st was first celebrated as April Fool's Day in 44BC.  Everyone was so bummed out about the previous Ides of March, they decided to use this day to lighten the mood.
Enjoy your April Fools' Day!