The Ferris Bueller Fight Club Theory

This is quite possibly the most brilliant thing I've heard of today.

My favorite thought-piece about Ferris Bueller is the “Fight Club” theory, in which Ferris Bueller, the person, is just a figment of Cameron’s imagination, like Tyler Durden, and Sloane is the girl Cameron secretly loves.

One day while he’s lying sick in bed, Cameron lets “Ferris” steal his father’s car and take the day off, and as Cameron wanders around the city, all of his interactions with Ferris and Sloane, and all the impossible hijinks, are all just played out in his head. This is part of the reason why the “three” characters can see so much of Chicago in less than one day — Cameron is alone, just imagining it all.

It isn’t until he destroys the front of the car in a fugue state does he finally get a grip and decide to confront his father, after which he imagines a final, impossible escape for Ferris and a storybook happy ending for Sloane (”He’s gonna marry me!”), the girl that Cameron knows he can never have.

I Love Flo

How can you tell you've been home too long?

• You know the schedule of what's on TV
• You have "shows" that you catch every day
• Soap operas start making sense
  
• Your wife is running out of chores for you to do
• And Flo, the Progressive.com lady, is starting to look really cute

Flo on the commercials

Flo in real-life

At Least Unemployement is Good for Something

Since I have nothing else to do but tweak my resume, check the websites and call headhunters all day, I have gotten a TON of stuff done around the house.

Last week I showed the coffee table I built. Today, I replaced the faucet on the bathroom vanity. I got really lucky and picked up a really nice, brand new one at a yard sale for $12. Nice, very nice. I've also laid floor molding over my entire upstairs, refinished the railing over the stairs, organized my garage, and various other things that have been on my honey-do list for about 3 years.

My wife isn't happy that I'm unemployed, but she's thrilled that I'm getting caught up on all my chores. :-)

Update on Verizon's Attempt at the iPhone

Looks like Verizon won't get the iPhone, but will likely get one or two "iPhone-like" devices. Those crafty devils.

This is the Star Trek Phone?

I've waited a looooooooooong time for a Star Trek phone. Come on, how hard can it be? We've had flip phones for 20 years. What would be so hard about making it look like a communicator?

Nokia is putting out a tie-in phone for the new movie. Severe disappointment. It's not a flip phone, it doesn't even vaguely resemble a communicator. They have a "phazer" app, but obviously, they even spelled phaser wrong. WTF?

Impressive, Most Impressive

I've always been a fan of the song Stand by Me by Ben King. This is probably the best version I've ever heard. It's a compilation of totally unknown street artists all over the world. Very impressive. Enjoy!


Playing For Change | Song Around The World "Stand By Me" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

One Step Away From Johnny Mnemonic

3D Computer Interface from Free Flow on Vimeo.

Utilizing the theory of electrostatics, we have designed a low-cost human-computer interface device that has the ability to track the position of a user's hand in three dimensions. Physical contact is not required and the user does not need to hold a controller or attach markers to their body. To control the device, the user simply waves their hand above it in the air.

Jaunty a Little Faulty

A buddy of mine made the mistake of 3am upgrading. Yeah, we've all done it, and we've all regretted it. He decided to upgrade his system to the latest Ubuntu distro and it ate his system. Seems this issue has been around since beta.

How on earth this this get released?

Tweeting Away

I'm not a big fan of Twitter. Mostly, I think it's a complete waste of time. The one time I did use it, it was on an iPhone app so that my office knew where I was at any moment. It was easier and cheaper for my boss to keep up with my movements than using one of those push-to-talk services.

Now someone's come out with a Twitter app that will allow a very limited control of your PC. It sounds promising and could possibly be very useful in the future with further development.

Well, I Guess It's Something Anyway

I finally got a job offer. Shame it was in Colorado.

Thanks, but I think we're staying put. Still, it was nice to hear back from someone!

I Know It's Not a Femtrooper...

...but it does deserve an honorable mention.

Elvis-Trooper

Hehe, Nice Hat

Verizong Going After the iPhone

Apparently Verizon's profits have taken a pounding in the first quarter due to them NOT having the iPhone. Rumor has it that Verizon is going to Cupertino with checkbook in hand.

Expect AT&T to counter-offer to keep the hot property in their exclusive club.

This could get interesting and will probably be good for consumers.

Every Man's Dream 'Fridge

NPH Doing His Thing

Not Much to Say Today

I've been busier than a one-legged man at a butt kicking contest today, so I haven't had much to say.

Here's one of the things I've been working on. My new coffee table for the living room. I hand-made the thing. That's tile on the top. Took me about 3 days to finish, but it was worth it.

That's Not a Completely Bad Idea

The idea of allowing employees choose which computer they want, using a type of voucher program, is gaining traction among businesses.

This is probably a pretty decent idea, with PC hardware getting less and less expensive and generally more reliable, disparate PC (and that includes Macs, you zealots!) are becoming almost a non-issue. Companies are switching to virtualization and online-only apps, so the computer it runs on (and it's own unique set of security issues) are less of a problem than the past.

Guns Don't Kill People, Nerds Kill People

...Or at least severely threaten them with medieval weapons.

Nerd rage is a terrible thing. Kinda reminds me of the dude with the klingon sword.

I have only one thing to say: Settle down, Beavis.

Boy, Did I Go to the Wrong High School

Cosplay Done Right

I've never been much of a fan of cosplay. The odds are, you're going to see something you'd rather not than something you rather would. Well, this chick may just change my mind.

Speaking of Star Trek

This is so much fun, it made me giggle. And as an added bonus, it really annoyed the wife!



My wife says I look like evil, cheesy Spock. :-)

Trek in Kuwait

One of our soldiers gets a sneak peak at JJ Abrams new Star Trek flick.

WTF?

I just got hit by something called Condron.us. Trying to figure out what that is....

I hope it's not catching.

Now That's Why I'm a Fan of the Empire

If you've missed your femtroopers, here's a new one, just for you. :-)

Stop, Hammett Time

Ever read any Dashiell Hammett? If not, you ought to find yourself some. Ever few years, I re-read all I have, from The Maltese Falcon through all the Continental Op stories. I love his writing style, and I love the stories.

Hammett's writing style is similar to Hemingway's, very sharp yet sparse prose. I'm in the middle of Red Harvest right now, and it gets better every time I read it.

So, if you like hard boiled detective fiction, or you're just tired of the same old stuff crapped out by modern, corporate authors, give Hammett a go. You'll thank me.

Top 10 Keys to Writing a Brilliant Resume

For those of us who are looking, or those getting ready to look, it's time to update your resume. Since I have a LOT of recent experience with this, I thought I'd share the benefit of my hard gained wisdom.

1. Make your resume unique. I don't care if you use crayon or write it on a napkin (though I don't necessarily advise this for IT guys, it would be terrific for a pre-school teacher or a bartender), do something to make it really jump out. What do I use on mine? Since mine is rarely seen except via digital image, cool paper doesn't matter. I used a lot of weird layout formats, tons of cells, etc. Make it unique to you, don't just use the default format or templates in Word. Everyone does that.
2. Your resume is an ad. That's right, it's not a record of what you've done or what you know. Your resume is the way you sell yourself. Treat it like an ad you'd see online or in the paper. The more interesting you make it, the more likely someone will stop to read it.
3. Make it interesting, but keep it professional. We all like lots of little tid-bits about what you did at Acme Industries, but honestly, what does playing on the golf league do to help you land that IT job? Make sure you don't use contractions. Write your resume as if you're going to be graded on it in college.
   
4. Know your target audience, and aim your resume for them. I personally keep several copies of my resume. I've got one formatted for Office 2007, one for 2003, one in Open Office, one in .txt, some with cover letter, some without, some with references, some in .pdf. All of them have one thing in common. I've got sections setup in them that I type for each company I apply to. I don't shotgun out the same resume to everyone. I go for headshots by tailoring each one.
   
5. Before shooting off that resume, be sure to do a little research. As I said in #4, customize your resume for the company to which you are applying. Do a quick web search to discover more about the company and their culture, and alter your cover letter and resume to fit.
   
6. Don't confine yourself. If you're like me, you've done more than work 45+ hours per week. There are many, many more hours that you've been doing something other than work, yet most would never consider putting that stuff on a resume. Once you've figured out what your potential employer is looking for, see if any of your non-work activities can match up. If Sunday school or your former gang are the only places you have had a chance to demonstrate your special gift for teaching and leadership, fine. The point is to cover all possible ways of thinking about and communicating what you do well.
7. A great resume has two sections. Most resumes are just a list of what skills you have and what you've done. *YAWN!!!* Smack yourself on the forehead if you've done that. Now, go back and make an assertation (hehe, he said a$$!) section. This is where you really sell yourself. Make your assertation section your ad. Hint at some things. Leave the reader wanting more. Leave them with a bit of mystery. That way, they have even more reason to reach for the phone. The assertions section usually has two or three sections. In all of them, your job is to communicate, assert and declare that you are the best possible candidate for the job and that you are hotter than a picnic on Mercury. All the boring stuff that backs up and proves you can do the stuff you say you can is in the evidence section.
8. Be sure the objective is to the point. Do not use fluffy phrases that are obvious or do not mean anything, such as: "allowing the ability to enhance potential and utilize experience in new challenges." An objective may be broad and still somewhat undefined in some cases, such as: "a mid-level management position in the hospitality or entertainment industry." Remember, your resume will only get a few seconds attention, at best! You have to generate interest right away, in the first sentence they lay their eyes on. Having an objective statement that really sizzles is highly effective.
9. Get excited about writing your resume. Most people know you have to have one of these things to get a job, so they see it as an obligation. They look forward to creating/updating a resume about as much as they look forward to doing their taxes. As competitive as today's job market is (and it's going to get worse before it gets better), your effort and desire to make a great resume really show up there. If you want to stand out from the nameless horde, be sure to get fired up about writing it. Make it fun, use those creative writing skills we all know you have (otherwise, how would that boring 500 page tech doc have gotten completed?).
   
10. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, EVER USE COMIC SANS MS!!!!!! Everyone and their mother hates that font. If you feel tempted to use it, stop. Walk slowly to the door. Open the door. Place your hand on the jam. Slam the door. Repeat until the desire to use Comic Sans MS goes away. Trust me on this, you'll thank me. In my last job, the VP of HR loved this font and used it every opportunity she had (and probably still does). People IGNORED everything that came from her as a result. Everyone HATES this font.

Good luck and shoot me a message if you want to talk further.

Greenies, Hippies, and Moonbats - Oh My!

Tomorrow is the 39th anniversary of Earth Day. Yep, thirty-nine years of them telling us how much we're screwing up the Earth and what schmucks we are. Global guilt. These are the same a$$hats who tell us that global warming is real. You all know what I think of that.

It seems the Greenies are coming out of the closet and declaring their true colors this year (and no, I don't mean green). This year, they're linking religion, specifically Christianity, with the destruction of the Earth. Riiiight.

So, I say to all non-moonbats, go forth and combat this insipid mindless pop-science. Find the answers for yourself and quit listening to those spouting nonsense without concrete data. Decide for yourself. And for God's sake, let's leave the anti-religion propaganda out, ok? Wait, I take that back. Go ahead, Mr. Moonbat. Feel free to mix it in. Maybe more people will realize that you're only trying to replace one religion for another.

Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain

I'm dinking around with the layout/look. Be patient, I promise that I'll like it when I'm done.

Uh....I Got Nothin'

Wow, just wow. When I ran across this, my expectations were rather low. I mean, what do you think of when you see "super creative milk photography"? It sure as hell wasn't this. I was picturing cows frolicking or something.

Anyway, enjoy, and definitely, NSFW.

This is the tamest one...

It Sure Took Them Long Enough

The one problem I have with the iPhone (aside from being an enormous time-waster and not being able to download AC/DC ringtones) is that isn't voice-command-able right out of the box. Hell, my 4 year old Motorola Razor does that like a champ via my bluetooth headset. I'd be lost without it, and I totally was lost without it on the iPhone. Apple's finally wising up and making it a standard feature.

Hey, Maybe I'll Actually Get to Play That Game

I've been wanting to get Rock Band or Guitar Hero for a while, but so far, it's been a no-go on that proposition.

While I sit in rock & roll purgatory, my kids get every Lego video game known to man. Now I may have my chance. Yep, like Lego Star Wars, or Lego Indiana Jones, they're going to do Lego Rock Band.

Oh yeah.

I've Been a Baaaaaaaad Boy. I Should Be Punished.

I've been away so long, I know everyone is feeling a bit abandoned. All I can say is, I'm sorry, I'll try not to do it again, and I'll make it up to you.

Wow, thought I was talking to my wife there for a second.

Anyway, in the spirit of not being safe for work, here are some boobs. Enjoy!

MyNiceSpace.com

Tweaking Uncle's Nose

And trust me, there's a lot there to tweak.

Uncle points out the sporting reason for Gov. Palin's new toy.

I take him to task for even trying to justify it. What's the point?

Depressing, Isn't It?

Sorry I've been silent for a while. Depression isn't cool. Here's a quick run-down on my situation:

• Yep, still unemployed
• Yep, still looking
• Yep, we're doing OK (family has been AMAZINGLY supportive--thanks to all!)
• Nope, not really heard much back yet

I'm working with 4 different head-hunters, and they're all saying about the same thing, "Lots of people are posting, but no one is hiring. They're just reposting the same jobs over and over to hold them open or something." Sucks, but there's really not much out there for an IT manager right now. You pretty much have to be best-buddies with the hiring manager or something to get a job these days.

I'm about done with the whole depression thing. I'm still angry/betrayed/hurt, but it comes and goes. Part of what pisses me off though, is that the people I thought were my friends never call to just check and see if I'm alive or even still in my house. It would be nice if those I had worked with wouldn't just write me off because I'm no longer there. I honestly thought those people were friends. Guess I know better now.

On the other hand, some of the folks that I didn't expect to hear from call and check on me from time-to-time, and that's really nice (yeah, talking about you, Ginger).

Thanks, and God bless!