I Beg Your Pardon?

Esquire magazine has an article on what President Obama's done since entering office. They contend, contrary to popular opinion, that he's been very effective.

Let's take a look at that:

A week before he was sworn in, Obama jammed part two of the bank bailout down
the throat of his own party — a $350 billion accomplishment.

Hmmm, I dont' think I would say he "jammed" anything down their throats. This was Bush's bailout, plain and simple.

Two days after he was sworn in, Obama banned the use of "harsh interrogation"
and ordered the closing of Guantánamo.

Unless I'm terribly mistaken, aren't there still prisoner's at Club Gitmo?

A day later, Obama reversed George W. Bush's funding cutoff to overseas family
planning organizations — saving millions of lives with the stroke of a pen.

Wow, he really is just like Superman and Jesus rolled into one. Oh, and he's not afraid of ninjas, I hear. Um, what? He decided to spend more money, what's so surprising about that?

Three days after that, Obama gave a green light to the California car-emissions
standards that Bush had been blocking for six years — an important step on the
road to cleaner air and a cooler planet.

OK, the whole cooler planet thing is debatable, but I'll grant California's skies could be cleaner. Still, to force the state that's robbing its citizens in order to pay its bills (excuse me, borrowing from its citizens), into spending more money for emissions is just idiotic.

Two weeks after that, Obama signed the stimulus bill — a $787 billion
accomplishment.

Yep, let's all spend more money on companies that will likely go under anyway. It was a dumb idea when Bush started it.

Ten days after that, Obama formally announced America's withdrawal from Iraq.

Aren't we still in Iraq?

A week later — we're in early March now — Obama erased Bush's decision to
restrict federal funding for stem-cell research.

OK, I'm ok with stem-cell research. Just not the way the Dems want to do it.

In April and June, Obama forced Chrysler and GM into bankruptcy.

Well, we see how well that's worked out. I heard a report yesterday that said the American public would never see that money again.

In June, Obama reset the tone of our relations with the entire Arab world with a
single speech — an accomplishment that the Bush administration failed to achieve
despite a series of desperate PR moves (anyone remember Charlotte Beers?) and a
"public diplomacy" budget of $1 billion a year.

Yeah, he sent Hillary to really piss off the Palestenians. They set relations back 10 years.

Also in June, Obama unveiled the "Cash for Clunkers" program, a "socialist"
giveaway that reanimated the corpse of our car industry — leading, for example,
to the billion-dollar profit that Ford announced on Monday.

Yep, dealers were able to dump a ton of cars that they had over-produced anyway at taxpayer expense. I sure call that a win.

I haven't even mentioned Sonia Sotomayor, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, the
order to release the torture memos, Obama's push for charter schools, his $288
billion tax cut, or the end of Bush's war on medical marijuana. Or the minor
fact that he seems to have — with Bush's help, it must be said — stopped the
financial collapse, revived the credit markets, and nudged the economy toward
3.5 percent growth in the last quarter.

Sotomayor? Wasn't she that racist? I don't know about that act, so I wont' say anything. Yeah, that end of the war against medical marijuana has gone well. Didn't California just do a major bust on a supplier this week? Stopped the financial collapse? 150,000 more people lost their jobs last month! For Christ' sake, the unemployment figure the government releases is at 9.9%! I don't care if they say the economy is growing. It's a lie. Just like the cake.

Oh, and one more thing: President Obama is now a month or two from accomplishing
the awesome and seemingly impossible task that eluded mighty presidents like
FDR, LBJ, and WJC — health-care reform.

*cough*Bulls%&t!*cough* I don't think so, sparky.

Obama's early returns also include a host of remarkably cautious and prudent
national-security decisions that seem, these days, to have been completely
forgotten:

Appointing a conservative Bush holdover like Robert Gates as Secretary of
Defense.

Like he had anyone else qualified?

Appointing an establishment centrist like Leon Panetta at CIA.

Centrist? Whatever.

Appointing a hard-ass like Stanley McChrystal to head up our military forces in
Afghanistan, despite McChrystal's dubious involvement in torture and the
cover-up of Pat Tillman's death.

OK, so, we'll put someone under suspicion in charge of our forces. Great plan! You can't tell me there wasn't anyone more qualified? Puh-lease.

Increasing the number of drone attacks on Al Qaeda — more in the last year than
all the Bush years combined.

Um, ok. How do they know it's Al Qaeda? From the information in the European/Middle-Eastern sources, it's been against anything that moved. I'm not certain this is absolutely accurate. But then again, I'm not certain any of this is, sooooo.......

Reinstating, with tweaks, Bush's military tribunal system for Guantánamo
prisoners.

I thought you said he closed that place?

Fighting, in another unexpected defense of a controversial Bush policy, lawsuits
against the "warrantless wiretapping" program — as recently as this weekend with
a decision that a leading civil liberties group called "extremely
disappointing."

That's because he likes this one. National security and all that. And you're proud of this?

Sending, way back in February, seventeen thousand more soldiers to Afghanistan.
As Fareed Zakaira recently pointed out, this was just three thousand fewer
soldiers than Bush sent to Iraq for his famous "surge."

Um, ok. I'm pretty sure that was already planned before he came to office, but whatever.

Well, at least we now know where all the "medical" marijuana's been going.